In my new blogger mind I know I need to post all of the time but man things get busy! People ask and people wait for a new post but sometimes damn work has to take precidence right? I sat pumping in Napa with a service signal of nothing and thought man there is a post here, so I’m going to think back a week.
If you didn’t already know pumping is a lonely life. You have to sneak away to pump and feed your little pups even when you are not there. You have to plan your toxins so your milk is good. Then you have to figure out how to transport it all. I looked into shipping my liquid gold but that’s expensive for the point I am at in this journey. So I froze it and took it home. I admit this time, though lonely, is my time. Time that is quickly coming to an end. Where no one bothers me because, well I’m pumping.
I think back on my last almost 15 months and think of all that time I have been hooked up to my variety of pumps and realize with pride what I have accomplished. But at the same time how much time is going to come back to me. There is guilt and sadness. There is happiness and celebration but at the root it is the end of a journey that I have fought the good fight to have.
I didn’t realize when sitting down to write this that pumping was going to be the post but I guess that’s where I’m at. Life is busy. Change is hard. New things and new norms will have to be created again. My babies are thriving and though this time is coming to a close I have to realize there are other things I can do to keep my time with them. What are they? No idea. Will they remember this time. No. But I will always cherish the good and the bad times and hard times and perseverance that I’ve had for this journey.
But I will get my free periods back to do actual work work and then maybe time to do this, my passion project. But I will miss my time. My bond. To make new bonds with my babies. Hmmmm...
Jenifer Roth is a full time super woman...in her mind! Well she is good at being ok at the all the roles she takes on. Enjoy the ride!