WAIT, WHAT...EXCUSE ME!!!
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Wait, What, failure is an option?

4/17/2019

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I have spent a whole lot of time lately thinking of my ability and inability to accept failure in my life.  I was recently completing a weight challenge with my people at Weightix.  Now this was my 2nd challenge with this group.  I did not meet my goals the first time, but I learned.  I was about 15lbs from goal and that was cool with me.  This 2nd challenge I was like 3 - 4lbs away with a week away and this was soooo frustrating me.  I went out and bought hydroxycut I was ready and willing to do anything.  Mr. WaitWhat looked and me and said he was proud of all that I had been doing and what I have accomplished, what are you doing?  This is not what you signed up for.  This is NOT worth going crazy over.  He was right.  On so many levels.  If I was going to be successful I was going to stick with plan.  Yes I did some hail mary methods, but sustainable methods.  I increased my workout, I drank my water (a LOT of water), I did an egg fast which was amazing and stuck with keto with carbX as its called in weightix.  And I made goal.  I may have gained back a pound, because admittedly I was tired and did not work out last week.  But it is a lifestyle NOT a diet.
Now to my point.  I say to students often, because state road tests are looming, that I would not want to fail automatically for dropping my hands off the steering wheel.  I want to HIT a house.  Yup I said hit a house.  Because if I am going down I want to go down with style.  I don't want to fail a test or anything by 1 point I want to fail by 100, or 15lbs not 3!  I think it is all about what you learn.  Accepting that it is OK!  I am OK!  
Months and months ago my therapist asked me if I have ever not excelled at something or done well.  And I looked at her puzzled.  Like what?  That's an option?  To just be ok?  Oh no!  But it is people it is!  Am I always the BEST mom.  No.  Am I always the best teacher?  Nope.  The best friend or even colleague?  Nope not there either.  And you know what, that's ok.  I live and learn and learn.  I grow.  I am not perfection in a box, but I work hard and I try hard and isn't that more important.
I think we need to change the language of failure.  Its derogatory.  Its negative and truthfully something I think you have to work very hard to do, so why not turn it around.  I do not fail people or students they have worked to do that.  Why not put that same effort into being Ok?  What is wrong with ok?  I am ok with being ok.  I am NOT ok with thinking or being a failure.  What are the benefits of knowing that I may not have succeeded at something?  What did I learn?  How did I grow?  What can I do better next time.
The likelihood at this point is we will not have more kids (though I do ponder).  And you know what I think I have some pretty great kids.  I cannot fix my pregnancy and make it better.  I cannot change their premature birth by having another child.  But I can accept that I made some pretty great kiddos and learn that their story is their own and this mama did not do anything wrong.  I did not fail them, I made them strong.  Now to tell my brain that is difficult, but hey I am working on it.
Enjoy friends!  Failure IS an option, make it a positive!
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    Jenifer Roth is a full time super woman...in her mind!  Well she is good at being ok at the all the roles she takes on.  Enjoy the ride!

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