Today is my due date.

A due date is a benchmark that people use to announce their fabulous pregnancy and to tell people when their little bundle will be arriving. For moms expecting multiples it’s really just a date. A date we know we won’t be getting to but a date so people can figure out how pregnant we are. Full term twins are 38weeks. My doctor told me that because we were having identical twins we probably would only go 36 or 37 weeks. I told people that we were due at the end of January because that’s when I figured we would have them. February 18 was insignificant.
Until is was not. I delivered on December 27, 2016 at 32weeks and 3days. All of a sudden February 18 mattered. In the hospital, in the NICU where my babes were to continue growing and learning how to be babies, they were still referred to as gestational age. And with that their expected day of arrival Home was February 18 and if you were lucky earlier, if not later. Obviously not about luck but simply how fast they can figure it all out. February 18 remained their benchmark for growth. For adjusted age. For a date that if they are lagging behind or a little slower to grow we could feel better and try to look ahead at where they would be had they been full term.
When we first came home and until at least their first birthday people would ask or try to guess how old they were and they were always 2-3 months wrong. They are little. They are preemies. They are almost 14 Months, 12 adjusted, and they wear 9 month clothes. They are healthy and are the same size as many of our friends who have full term babies who are of similar age. They grew 12inches since birth and packed on 17+pounds. They may just be a year adjusted today, but they are ok.
I thought a lot about this post and about this day and how I could put into words what this day means to me. The truth is I’m not even sure. 40 weeks before this date I was hoping to become a mom. Hoping good eggs were happening and hoping that whatever is to happen we all would be healthy. Today I think about how blessed I am to have had some great little felllas. That we persevered through so much in their adjusted 12 months. And that I am more resilient than I ever thought possible.
​Today is my due date.