As parents and really as people we strive to create some semblance of a balance in our lives. Balance as a worker, balance as a partner, balance as a parent, and of course balance as an individual. In talking to many of my parent friends we find ourselves so overwhelmed to make sure our household stays in order and our children are provided for. How do we find that balance. Keeping our minds and bodies and our souls in check so that our children and our circles know that we are ok. As a mom and someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety with a tad bit of a type AAA personality and ADHD, I am always on the move. If I am sitting I have to be doing something. I am still breastfeeding so proper medication is not an option so I have to create balance somehow. I smile to the outside world, but I am constantly struggling on the inside.
Balance? What is it really? Do I have to sacrifice some creature comforts to achieve this well being? Do I have to compromise some of my drive to be balanced? So many questions and yet they will remain unanswered. I alone have to make the decision. A conscious decision to be ok at what I am doing at this current time. A decision that I may just be an ok parent, teacher, and partner for a little bit and that is ok. My therapist asked me if I have ever not exceeded or gone above and beyond in the roles that I play and I quickly responded in a sheepish manner, No. In my bio I even state that. Here is to trying to be ok at being ok. To find happiness and "balance" in this very unbalanced world I happen to live in!
Today was a good day. I had tiny humans wake up at midnight and I didn’t go back to sleep til 2am. Then they kind of slept in til like7:20 and then BAM...I’ve got shit to do! Quick shower, actually shave, change diapers set fellas down and out the door. Appointment #1 allergist where I explain that I’m addicted to my allergy shots and that in my head I’m convinced that because I’ve continued my shots my kids won’t have allergies. Whatever gimme my shots see you in 10months!
Over an hour til the next appointment, plug in addresses of the next 2 appointments, realize my gps doesn’t know where new Starbucks locations are ponder how I can get it updated and either way I know where to find one even though it’s gonna piss off Lola the GPS bitch who has to hang out with that other bitch SIri!
With Chai Tea Latte in hand I head to get my brows done(tinted, threaded, lashes tinted, new product reveal) thank you Benefit for having real boutiques with real brow artists! Appointment #2 done 1 more to go! The fabulous Patti at Enfuse MedSpa is there to blast away all found hair! Now seriously this woman is my homey! She was my original laser lady at a will not name medspa that may or may not be out of business with a lot of my money in limbo for sessions bought! Anyway Patti makes me feel like I’m doing for myself and have some time that’s mine.
I am a full time working mom with 2 jobs and an amazing man who is home with toddler twins all day. I rush home to hang with the fellas most days and live in fear that I do not stimulate my children enough to make them good humans. But how do I take care of myself? The answer is I do minimal in that department. But going to enfuse and benefit today made me remember that it’s ok to primp once in a while. Guilt is going to be there for the rest of my life at least I can look put together right?
I have always been a woman who takes care of others and don’t think I’m very high maintenance but there are things adult women need to spend time on and many of us don’t. Fathers don’t either! My matt well he never leaves but that’s not for here!
our kids will do best if we are at our best! Self care is hard but you have to make time for it for the sake of your sanity and your children. Do I deserve a mani pedi once a month? Sure. But is that realistic anymore? Not so much. But finding time more than quarterly would probably do this family well.
That should be all our goals this week...1 self care opportunity even going to the bathroom alone and reading Us Weekly. Tell us about it! How did it go? My goal is to get that mani pedi I speak of!! Good luck friends!!
We went to dinner tonight and I mentioned to the man that the new park district classes were out for the spring. I told him our tot drop in had our normally scheduled class and there was an offering at another park for “Mom, Pop, Tot interaction class. I read him the description and he said point blank it won’t work. As I stared at him quizzically he said that there are 2 of them and 1 of him and would ask his other classmates about it, where I had to tell him it was at a different park. And then by chance I was on Facebook and another twin Mom was asking the same question. What are we supposed to do?
I am in a lovely situation with a mate who is “between careers” at the moment where when we heard twins we knew immediately that he was going to be a stay at home dad. At $2000-3000 a month for daycare it was a logical choice. But me being a teacher knew that they needed to get out and socialize at some point. I also know that there are many times being a teacher I can tell the difference between daycare kids and not daycare kids. I want my fellas to be a happy median. Social, friendly, can share, etc. and while they have a built in play mate they are social beings and need to explore. They are great in social situations but they are definitely not exposed to regular groups of kiddos.
I’m proactive and of course joined all sorts of things we could socialize at. We signed up and took swimming when they were 6 months old. Made Matt take them to a MyGym class, but I get it there’s 2 of them and 1 of him. How do I make this work? All these options but do I have to put them in daycare to get them out? I know lots of twin moms and moms with kids close in age have to grapple with this question. Though it’s awesome that they are home with a parent but how do they gain new skills and habits of fully functioning kids? Many parents because of financial reasons have to stay home when there are multiples and again that’s wonderful but how to get them out?
I have some friends that are home with their younger children and one who’s husband also stays home but will it be better with 2 parents and 3 kids? Can I hire a helper or does this defeat the purpose of having them home to save money? Oh my goodness so many questions and what to do?
In Chicago there are great opportunities like Pearachute which is like classpass for kiddos and The Bump Club and Beyond and of course local park districts but I think there needs to be a twin spot. Twin helpers? I’m hoping someone can answer these questions before this mama bear is on a rampage this summer overwhelming her cubs with outings because that’s the time I have. Because really trying to commit every moment of the weekend to classes that can be taken during the week just sounds like such a task. Hence we have about 8 makeup classes available for the swim class we took over the summer and fall! I’m tired people what to do? Updates one day🤷🏻♀️
Jenifer Roth is a full time super woman...in her mind! Well she is good at being ok at the all the roles she takes on. Enjoy the ride!