I have spent a whole lot of time lately thinking of my ability and inability to accept failure in my life. I was recently completing a weight challenge with my people at Weightix. Now this was my 2nd challenge with this group. I did not meet my goals the first time, but I learned. I was about 15lbs from goal and that was cool with me. This 2nd challenge I was like 3 - 4lbs away with a week away and this was soooo frustrating me. I went out and bought hydroxycut I was ready and willing to do anything. Mr. WaitWhat looked and me and said he was proud of all that I had been doing and what I have accomplished, what are you doing? This is not what you signed up for. This is NOT worth going crazy over. He was right. On so many levels. If I was going to be successful I was going to stick with plan. Yes I did some hail mary methods, but sustainable methods. I increased my workout, I drank my water (a LOT of water), I did an egg fast which was amazing and stuck with keto with carbX as its called in weightix. And I made goal. I may have gained back a pound, because admittedly I was tired and did not work out last week. But it is a lifestyle NOT a diet.
Now to my point. I say to students often, because state road tests are looming, that I would not want to fail automatically for dropping my hands off the steering wheel. I want to HIT a house. Yup I said hit a house. Because if I am going down I want to go down with style. I don't want to fail a test or anything by 1 point I want to fail by 100, or 15lbs not 3! I think it is all about what you learn. Accepting that it is OK! I am OK!
Months and months ago my therapist asked me if I have ever not excelled at something or done well. And I looked at her puzzled. Like what? That's an option? To just be ok? Oh no! But it is people it is! Am I always the BEST mom. No. Am I always the best teacher? Nope. The best friend or even colleague? Nope not there either. And you know what, that's ok. I live and learn and learn. I grow. I am not perfection in a box, but I work hard and I try hard and isn't that more important.
I think we need to change the language of failure. Its derogatory. Its negative and truthfully something I think you have to work very hard to do, so why not turn it around. I do not fail people or students they have worked to do that. Why not put that same effort into being Ok? What is wrong with ok? I am ok with being ok. I am NOT ok with thinking or being a failure. What are the benefits of knowing that I may not have succeeded at something? What did I learn? How did I grow? What can I do better next time.
The likelihood at this point is we will not have more kids (though I do ponder). And you know what I think I have some pretty great kids. I cannot fix my pregnancy and make it better. I cannot change their premature birth by having another child. But I can accept that I made some pretty great kiddos and learn that their story is their own and this mama did not do anything wrong. I did not fail them, I made them strong. Now to tell my brain that is difficult, but hey I am working on it.
Enjoy friends! Failure IS an option, make it a positive!
Jenifer Roth is a full time super woman...in her mind! Well she is good at being ok at the all the roles she takes on. Enjoy the ride!